my year in review, which is prolly going to be wrong because i can almost never recall what months what happened.
2003
January
lets see this month started with darkness, and a small party if i recall correctly. nothing terribly weird happened this month. i was hurt and heartbroken, for the month previous to this junko and i offically ended our relationship. i should note that we hadnt seen nor spoken in the previous 7 months or so. it still hurt. and i found that thesillyfilly was actually dating residualfear, and so began that whole mess, i told thefilly what would happen. i was right.
Feburary
i didnt have to wait that long, somewheres around valentines day the filly and residual fear broke up, and i was right. i said that he wouldnt speak to her for a i think a month or two weeks. i bet a bag of reasons on it. i was wrong and got the filly a bag of reasons. i was quite put out that i couldnt continue on with college this year so i was trying to get used to that. and so begins the great application process. it sucked
March
i dont recall much of march. it doesnt stick out in my mind atleast. well something happened. probably lots of normal stuff. me chatting online. me being depressed about people and stuff. me not doing anything because i had no job nor motivation to do anything. its horrible. Love`s birthday was the 31st of this month.
April
more horribleness. the filly and residual continue thier affair. i still stay here. i cant honestly think of anything great or amazing that happened here.
May
hrmm i think more nothing. job interviews and such. i prolly went to apac once again this month and told that i cant work for them. oh yeah i forgot, someplace in march or april i went and worked at labor ready.
June
i think i visited brotor in rochester around here. worked at labor ready there. could have had a nice factory job and stayed. i was quite tempted by it. but i didnt feel comfortable leaving home at that time. one year ago was the last time i saw Love, the last time i heard her voice, the last time i touched her.
July
bortor moves in with me around here i think. and so begins his job hunt. i drive the flly around everywheres to work and such.
August
ahh my birthday arrives FINALLY. not that it was such a large deal. i didnt get much. i didnt want much. though i really cherrished what i got. now i am going to cheat a bit cause my mind is a bit fuzzy on some points here i wreaked my mothers car at the end of this month and i went to toledo the week before that to see about a job to make ungodly amounts of money for my expertise. and so begins my job. wonderful stuff. i got to see kati this month as well. it was wonderful. you sparked something in me woman. passion. it was amazing. its like a drug. you know i crave more.
September
this is the month that i go to nyc( YAY) for the type o negative concert, kati came down and i went down with her and lostmisery. it was awesome. the immediate next week i was down in toledo making inordinate amounts of money for doing silly things. i then took my friends out for a great dinner all on me, as thanks for taking care of me when i had no cash, and i continue on but with a goal this time. i also get it into my silly head at the start of this month to move. i am ready for it. i want to move away now. its a pressure that builds up within me. i shall be away.
October
more of the same. i think that we start our d&d campaign up again here and i continue on working. life progresses normally
November
i always recall november as a horrible month.good things never happen to me in november, but it seems that everything was mitigated to the end of august this year, as in november nothing really happened. my programming slows, its hard to maintain focus for such a long time. i need to learn to drive my self harder
December
we start getting snow here, not alot of it but enough. i continue working, slowly to completion. d&d continues and so does my view of the world. thefilly and residualfear end, finally. gryphon comes back into my life and hangs out more often. got to see the last samurai and the alst of the lord of the rings movies whoot. i asked unkind things of resi but they were a long time comming. i should have asked so long ago. it may have saved lots of suffering from everyone. i went and hung out with my sister for new years. it was fun and she got me a case of guinness!! it was nice.
all in all i grew alot this year. maybe more than i did the year before. i am growing up. i am no longer static and stagnate. i am no longer 19 and still feel like i did when i was 14, i am 22 and feel much older. maybe something like 19 hahaha. soon i will be my age and take responsiblity for all that i have neglected.
you still hold my heart, and you probably will for a while now. i dont think i will ever get rid of you. i dont want to. i will hold you inside of me. i will cherish all that you have given me for all of my life.
and you, i am comming for you.
with all of my heart, with all of my soul, untill the last star burns to dust.
ganbari!!
~Zehaeva
Los Lobos - Kiko And The Lavender Moon