have you ever writen a letter that you didnt send ... maybe you ment to send it but never had the courage to send it .. or maybe never got around to it ?? or forgot about it ... i just wrote a letter that dont think i will send ... i dont feel i lack courage .. but i feel that its inappropriate .... maybe .. now it is ... hehe i have to remark about how distictive my ahnd writing is .... my e`s are backwards threes and i use a combination of cursive and print ... my r`s are all upper case and my w`s look like small omega`s ... oh and my t`s every once in a while slip into those . well kinda like the lower case t`s in this font .. just with a larger bottom lip ... things i picked up from all those science classes i`ve taken ... i dont think the letter willl do anything ... even sent it would have not effect ... just reiterate things that i have said before ... but maybe there is something about reading it .. right ?? maybe seeing it is more powerful than hearing it .. hrmm .. i just dont know .. but then again .. i could just be making excuses and am really just afraid .. ::nods:: no .. i know there is but one thing in this world that can hurt me .. emotionally that is .. lots of things that can hurt me physically .. like pourcupines and rc race cars and bay leaves .. ::nods:: but theres just a small sentace that can destroy my world .. cause it to tumble down about my ears ... i`ve heard them before ... almost ended my life ... i really didnt like hearing them .. but i lived through it .. i was made stronger by it ... i think ... hrmm i`m hungry .. i have learned so much and cant apply it .. suck .. well maybe i shall move more slowly .. ::nods:: i have a way of wedging myself into someones heart ... before they know it ... makes me feel like a desease .. or something .... ::nods:: i think today i shall .. :::nods::: hehe dont you want to know what right ??? well i wont tell you ... hehe ... i never told everything in here .. well i leave some stuff out ... some stuff just isnt for anyone but me .. hehe "every tingle time" ... hehe .. so yeah .. nothing more to report .. just life .. it flows and oves .. ohh i wrote apoem .. i am actually going to revise it and go over it .. i wasnt able to write it all at once so i dont think that its pure in form now .. so i am going to look for it .. ::nods:: a first for me .. no longer will i just pull the words out of the heavens but i shall workand craft the letters ... form them like iron and quenched in the blue black ink that has become my blood ... i will truely be a wordsmith ...
~Zehaeva
Utada Hikaru - First Love