there are lots of things that i should be doing right now .. lots of them .. but i am not .. dunno why .. i just wanna sit around and do NOTHING .. i just want to be a lazy bum .. its almost scary how close it is to the end of the semester and i am not even worried about it all .. three weeks and we are done .. and i ahve lots of tests and what not to do in the mean time .. and its all kinda really sick some of the things i have to study for but i am not studing for any of it ... i hardly know any of the stuff were going to be tested on and i`m not really scared about it .. weird huh ?? maybe i will panic later .. maybe not ... heheh ... i`m getting to the point where i dont care at the moment but i think i will later .. recently i have been seeing my entire life kinda unfold before my eyes and crystalize too .. like this is going to be my life and there is nothign that i can do to stop it and what not .. nothing i can do to make it great or interesting or whatever else ... looking at the way technology has advanced in the past years and where they thought we would be by now ... well its kinda making me feel depressed all of these neat things i thought they would be able to do in my lifetime proably wont happen at all .. for me atleast cause the universe ends for me when i die soo yeah ... that makes me sad .. and its not because we lack the technical expertise its because of fucking people being too scared to let this stuff happen ... people mroe concerned with killing each other than pooling everything into technology and research and learning .. god forbid we do that ... all of this religious dogma and political rhetoric that constantly gets thrown back and forth .. change happens too slowly in our culture right now .... the new ideas of this generation will not be implemented untill this generation is old and about to die ... its very very sad too ... so like in 50 years they will START to change things to the way it should be however by then it should be different anyways so whats the point of all that huh ??? DARGS ... i just need the ability to change the world into what it shoul be .. or atleast give the world the ability to change as rapidly as it needs to ... we hold on so tightly onto the past and tradition and what not when that is hindering us ... tradition is wonderful in all but you need to beable to go beyond that .. remmber it for what is was .. the past ... what was the quote .. darsg i cant remember i will find it and post it here .. lovely japanese philospy that i agree with quite alot .. specialy the one about ... matter of great importance should be treated lightly, matter of little importance shoudl be treated with great concern ..
~Zehaeva